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3+ Simple Steps to Build Yourself From a Lack of Self-Esteem

Updated: Nov 9, 2022

This was originally posted on March 24, 2017.

This post contains affiliate links at the end. For more information, see my disclosure here.

Before I get started, let me ask you this:

Are you here because

  • There were terrible events that happened in your life

  • You grew up in a terrible environment

Regardless of your answer, if it involves anything negative affecting your current mindset and behavior, you've come to the right place.

I was in that same place too.

It lasted throughout my childhood to more than half the time I was in college.

But I eventually overcame it with the guidance of people I've encountered in my life, and I will be helping you do the same.

In this guide, I will be helping you with:

Furthermore, I will be sharing with you:


When Your Self-Esteem Is Low, This Is How You Can Start Building Yourself Up:

Tracing Back the Development of Your Self-Esteem

Since self-esteem can be defined as your self-worth or self-image (or both), its development can be traced back to the environment you grew up in most of the time. In other cases, it can be very stressful events occurring later in life.

For factors that play in your childhood or much later, they can be:

  • Unsupportive parents or guardians

  • Friends or higher authoritative figures (such as your workplace) who influence terrible behavior and thinking, typically causing misery for other people to make themselves feel better and/or talking down on you

  • Stressful life events such as divorce or moving houses

  • Trauma or Abuse

  • Bullying or Loneliness

For other influences in life, they can be:

  • Ongoing medical issues

  • Belief systems

  • Society and the media (typically negative since it gets more attention than positive things)


Understanding the Effects of Key Figures and/or Influences on Your Life

By having low self-esteem, it's easy to succumb to negative thoughts and feelings about your worth and value as a person.

This eventually leads to more than one of the following:

  • Constant self-criticism that leads to persistent feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, anger, shame, or guilt

  • Low levels of motivation and interest

  • Inability to deal with normal levels of frustration and anger

  • Poor performance at school

  • Fear of trying [low resilience] - doubting your abilities or worth and avoiding challenges

  • Avoiding new things and opportunities in life [neophobic]

  • Fear of judgment - being very self-conscious and stressed around others while constantly looking for ‘signs’ that people dislike you

  • Fear of failure

  • Setting unrealistic goals and expectations that lead to perfectionism